Blogged Drainpipe

Unclogging the Blog

2011-08-16T18:17:00.008-04:00

Hey! So, if anyone has been periodically checking this thing from time to time (Dave) you've noticed that I haven't updated in like forever. But don't despair! I plan on making another go of this thing (making cartoons and putting them online) in September when I am reunited with my scanner. I'll also be doing it on a new site (hopefully)!

In the meantime, enjoy this stupid thing I did and check me out on all my other internet things!

(If your tiny eyes can't read this flowchart, click this link.)

O Green World - Environmentalism, Journalism, and Other Serious Things

Texts From Tomorrow Night - Existentialism, Pessimism, and Other Silly Things

Dick Jokes for Justice - Comedy, Poop, and Other Stupid Things

Swumblr - Videos, Photos, and Other Sexy Things

The Gosh Darn Batman - A Parody of a Parody Twitter Account

Justin Ferraro - Music, Grooves, and Sweet Tunes

The Egret of Regret

2011-05-18T22:46:00.001-04:00

The Egret of Regret

2011-05-08T00:51:00.001-04:00

The Egret of Regret

2011-02-02T00:41:00.002-05:00

The Egret of Regret

2011-01-08T19:42:00.002-05:00

Here is the alternate version of Wednesday's comic.

Is anyone noticing a pattern with these things?

The Egret of Regret

2011-01-05T01:40:00.004-05:00

Here's an interesting statistic: this is my 300th post! Woo hoo! Hooray for big numbers!

Say When? 2010!

2010-12-31T02:08:00.008-05:00

Here they are ladies and non-ladies, the best songs of 2010. I made no effort to be fair and balanced (suck it Kanye) or thorough and exhaustive (although I picked up way more songs than I expected to). I tried to limit one song per artist, but of course there are some collaborations in there and one or two instances where I included a second song just because I liked it. I included two Cee Lo Green songs (because "Fuck You" was released early as a single and doesn't really seem to fit in with the rest of The Lady Killer) and two Gorillaz songs (because "Doncamatic" was released separately as a single and it's mostly a Daley song anyway).

Also, my selection from Sufjan Stevens is 25 minutes long. Oops! Anyway, here are the superlatives for this year:

Best Album: Heartland by Owen Pallett

This album is simply brilliant. Pallett has proved that he is just as imaginative in his songwriting as he is with his composing. Choosing a song from this album to include was the toughest challenge I faced in arranging this playlist, because there were several very strong contenders. In the end, I stopped trying to decide which song was best and went with an easier choice. I ended up picking "E Is For Estranged" not only is it one of the strongest tracks on the album, but also because it didn't really seem to belong on the album. It seemed to be something left over from an earlier era and didn't fit into the narrative of the album. Since the record is a concept album and follows a story line throughout, I thought it would be optimal to pick the song that best stood on its own, since not knowing the story might detract from listening to the other songs. SO BUY THIS ALBUM.

Best Rock Album: Sea of Cowards by The Dead Weather

This album kicks so much ass. Seriously, there's not a bad track on this record. Some of the best rock songs I've heard in a long time.

Best Rap Album: Devoir d'insolence by Z.E.P.

I have no idea what's being said on this record but I don't care, I just really like the music.

Best R&B Album: The Archandroid by Janelle Monáe

While this album isn't as catchy and immediately accessible as Cee Lo's The Lady Killer, it is easily one of the most imaginative and eclectic albums of the year.

Best New Artist: The Rubberbandits

Best Swedish Artist: The Tallest Man on Earth

And so here's the list! It's designed to fit on three audio CDs. Originally I planned to limit it to one disc but the thing totally blew up. I figured it would be better to just it super long than to have to make decisions and cut things out. The songs are arranged so that if you were to listen to them all on disc at once they would flow together nicely. So if you get all these songs you can make your own playlist and listen to them!

1. "O Death (Traditional)" by Lauren O'Connell

2. "The Wild Hunt" by The Tallest Man on Earth

3. "You Are" by Punch Brothers

4. "When I Decide" by My Terrible Friend

5. "A Simple Life" by Philip Selway

6. "You Are Not Alone" by Mavis Staples

7. "Thieves" by She & Him

8. "Too Many Miracles" by Badly Drawn Boy

9. "The Suburbs" by Arcade Fire

10. "Another Day" by Pomplamoose

11. "Cousins" by Vampire Weekend

12. "Latin Lover" by Mi Ami

13. "Trans-Continental Hustle" by Gogol Bordello

14. "I Can't Hear You" by The Dead Weather

15. "Better Things" by Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings

16. "Written In Reverse" by Spoon

17. "Tighten Up" by The Black Keys

18. "Fair Game" by The Like

19. "Stranger" by Dr. Dog

20. "Vaporize" by Broken Bells

21. "Drunk Girls" by LCD Soundsystem

22. "Rhinestone Eyes" by Gorillaz

23. "Fuck You" by Cee Lo Green

24. "How I Got Over" by The Roots featuring Dice Raw

25. "Tightrope" by Janelle Monáe featuring Big Boi

26. "She Needs Me" by Fyfe Dangerfield

27. "E Is For Estranged" by Owen Pallett

28. "Little Houdini" by Sage Francis

29. "Good Soldier" by Flobots

30. "Impossible Soul" by Sufjan Stevens

31. "Animal Arithmetic" by Jónsi

32. "No One But You" by Doug Paisley

33. "Take Me Back" by Aloe Blacc

34. "Hard Times" by John Legend & The Roots

35. "A Town Called Obsolete" by Andreya Triana

36. "Wildflower" by Cee Lo Green

37. "Horse Outside" by The Rubberbandits

38. "Come On Sister" by Belle & Sebastian

39. "Doncamatic" by Gorillaz featuring Daley

40. "It's On" by Roots Manuva

41. "Krylon" by Skyzoo & Illmind

42. "I Count the Ways" by Bostich + Fussible

43. "Nique la France" by Z.E.P.

44. "Tudo Bem" by Garotas Suecas

45. "The Glitter Prize" by The Posies featuring Kay Hanley

46. "Marken Lag Stilla" by Dungen

47. "Alphaville" by Working for a Nuclear City

48. "Goldskull" by Miniature Tigers

49. "Telephone" by The Black Angels

50. "Hey Cool Kid" by Cloud Nothings

51. "I'd Rather Be Alone" by Cheap Time

52. "Waterfall" by The Fresh & Onlys

53. "Chickens In Love" by Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros

54. "Adultery" by The Extra Lens

55. "Babies" by The 1900s

56. "So Sleepy" by Fiona Apple, Punch Brothers & Jon Brion

So that's the list! Go out and listen to some music!

The Best Music Videos of 2010

2010-12-30T01:26:00.014-05:00

Hey kids, it's time to list the best music videos of 2010! What's that you say? "Music videos? What is this, 1987?" YEAH IT IS YOU DIRTY BEATNIKS, YOU! WOOOOOOOO!!!

First up is the Rube Goldberg machine version of "This Too Shall Pass" because Rube Goldberg machines are freakin' sick and decidedly cooler than marching bands.

Next up is a stop-motion video because stop animation is pretty sweet, but not quite as sweet as Rube Goldberg machines (note: dogs are cooler than everything) . This video is also cool because one of my friends helped film it.

Speaking of stop animation, here's a crazy video with claymation by Gogol Bordello. The claymation tells a pretty sweet story, I think.

Speaking of Gogol Bordello, here's another video by Gogol Bordello:

OK GO, GOgol Bordello, GOrillaz? I'm sensing a pattern here. This is a great video, a homage to car chase movies like Vanishing Point. Murdoc, 2D, and a robotic Noodle, looking worse for wear, tear across the desert in a beat-up Camaro. Soon though, homicidal hitman Bruce Willis is hot on their tail, chasing the beleaguered band in his El Camino. It's good that this video has some sweet action, because the song itself can feel kind of repetitive.

"On Melancholy Hill" starts off pretty sweet, showing a masked Noodle getting into some serious trouble. The the bullets and explosions are the perfect counterweights to the breezy 80's synth music. From there, the video picks ups where "Stylo" left off, with Murdoc and 2D in a shark sub. For some reason, Robo-Noodle is still and 3D and vomiting up one-eyed octopi. Whatever. Anyway, the video gets boring from there as the rest of it is basically cartoon versions of all the guest musicians featured on Plastic Beach. I get it, you got a bunch of famous dudes to contribute to your album. Get over yourself. At least now we know what the hell the lyric "Up on melancholy hill sits a manatee" is supposed to mean.

This video's on the list because I think they made Daley's submersible look really cool

I don't know how, but the infectious, text-only video that made Cee Lo's "Fuck You" a viral internet success, is just as good, if not better, than the official video:

In this well-executed video, The Black Keys combine their knack for humor with a classic story to compliment a great song:

Speaking of a classic story, electro/hip-hop duo LMFAO decided to go with an untimely Dodgeball parody for their song "Yes", adopting the TV setting to a curling tournament (Get it? Curling? Party Rock, rock, stone, curling?). The 10-minute epic has a couple laughs and a surprise guest star at the end but I much prefer the song's original bootleg video.

While we're on the subject of silly sports videos with famous guest stars, here's Vampire Weekend at a tennis match, joined by the RZA, a Jonas brother, Lil' John, and a very goofy Jake Gyllenhaal. Who said these guys were preppy?

Here's another video with Japanese themes and competition:

This video is the debut of Irish comedy hip-hop duo Rubberbandits. The makes the song as the silly lyrics are augmented wonderfully by frontman Blindboy Boat Club's dance antics.

You may have seen these guys in the last month doing holiday commercials for Hyundai but this spunky duo has been hamming it up on Youtube for quite a while now. I encourage you to go to their Youtube channel and check out their Video Songs. They do a great cover of Lady Gaga's Telephone, which is saying a lot. Because I hate Lady Gaga.

Then there's My Terrible Friend, which is a team-up between Pomplamoose's Nataly Dawn and Lauren O'Connell

Lauren O'Connell's got some cool stuff too:

Anyway, it's time to wrap this thing up. I want to round out the listen with Janelle Monáe, an inspired performer and creative dynamo. Her song "Tightrope" is a blast and the video is a lot of fun, combining some sweet dance moves with the freaky sci-fi fantasy elements she's developed a reputation for incorporating in her work (see: "Many Moons").

Stark and simple compared to her other videos (and all other music videos in general) Monáe manages to evoke something sublime here, relying solely on the strength of her music, her emotion and her subtle sexuality. Today's pop divas better be taking notes

So that's it! Say When? 2010! is almost done. The final playlist will be published tomorrow or the next day or the next day or never.

Don't Cry, '09

2010-12-25T21:50:00.002-05:00

Here are some good songs (ordered for your listening pleasure) that got left off my 2009 compilation, Oh My, '09!. For some reason I decided to ignore the Arctic Monkey's latest album until this year which is unfortunate because "Crying Lightning" has a great second verse. And though I knew of George Watsky's foray into hip-hop for some reason I never thought to include it on my list that year. "The Fox, the Crow, and the Cookie" would've undoubtedly been a contender for my favorite song of the year as well as a contender for best music video of the year, as the version of the song used in the video has an extra great arrangement.

I Cut Like a Buffalo - The Dead Weather

Crying Lightning - Arctic Monkeys

Modern Girl (...With Scissors) - Alec Ounsworth

Ulysses - Franz Ferdinand

Stockholm Syndrome - That Handsome Devil

Who's Been Loving You? - Watsky

Sex Bomb - Spinnerette

Expiration Date - Pomplamoose

Bear - The Antlers

Last of the English Roses - Peter Doherty

The Fox, the Crow, and the Cookie - Mewithoutyou

Home - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes

Don't Hate, '08

2010-12-25T20:46:00.003-05:00

Hey, here's some cool songs that should've gone on my best of 2008 playlist, Mix Tape Oh Eight, ordered for your listening pleasure

Tape Song - The Kills

Mister Jung Stuffed - Man Man

Another Way to Die - Jack White & Alicia Keys

Wintergreen - That Handsome Devil

Head Honcho - DeVotchKa

Raincoats - U.S. Royalty

Skinny Love - Bon Iver

Painting - Atmosphere

Handlebars - Flobots

The Butcher - Final Fantasy

So many regrets! I remember looking at Man Man's album in 2008 but for some reason I didn't decide to listen to it until a year later. "Another Way to Die" is without a doubt one of the best Bond songs in years (Chris Cornell's track for Casino Royale was good too though) and I remember it was one of the main reasons I was excited to see Quantum of Solace (which was a huge disappointment). And I don't know how I managed to leave out Flobots that year. Everyone was digging on that song.

The Best of 2010

2010-12-25T20:20:00.004-05:00

Merry Christmas, everybody! So, for the last year I've been compiling a playlist of the best songs of the year, starting at the very beginning of January and stretching all the way up to the these waning days of December. Now, my list is by no means supposed to be some sort of definitive list, as I plan to snub some of your favorite artists (cough cough Kanye cough). Rather, it is merely a list of my favorite songs from this year, a brief playlist for suggested listening.

I'll be unveiling my list, entitled Say When? 2010! on New Year's Eve (or perhaps before or after, depending on what I'm up to). Until then, I'm going to have a list of my favorite music videos from the year, as well as some retro-retrospectives in which I list a few of the groovy tunes I missed or overlooked from 2008 and 2009.

The Egret of Regret

2010-12-24T18:22:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas! As a special gift, here's an alternate version of Tuesday's comic:

The Egret of Regret

2010-12-21T17:28:00.003-05:00

Spock Shock

2010-12-18T02:07:00.002-05:00

Here's an old comic I made one time using Star Trek pictures I found online. I don't recall ever publishing it. Maybe there was a reason for that. Anyway, enjoy it. Or don't.

Abraham Lincoln

2010-12-15T19:52:00.002-05:00

Wobbuffett

2010-12-07T02:20:00.002-05:00

The Egret of Regret

2010-11-25T01:55:00.002-05:00

You can't spell "turducken" without "turd."

Happy Thursgiving!

The Egret of Regret

2010-11-24T02:12:00.001-05:00

The Egret of Regret

2010-11-04T14:55:00.000-04:00

Movies: Red

2010-10-20T02:37:00.002-04:00

This movie's funny but it fails to reach its full potential. It suffers from uneven pacing, starting off slow and only picking up in the middle. The writing is pretty weak throughout. The only thing that really propels this movie is the soundtrack and the actors' performances.

Unfortunately, for a movie that is built on memorable actions, it seems to be lacking memorable action scenes. It could've been much more badass.

Overall, this movie had an interesting premise but stale writing, and the all-star cast carried it throughout. John Malkovich is the best part of this movie.

The Egret of Regret

2010-10-18T05:15:00.001-04:00

Climate Change Charades

News Update

2010-10-13T04:59:00.003-04:00

Last Friday, Israel publicized photos of scud missiles in Syria, found via Google Earth. After spotting the missiles on Google Earth's satellite imaging, experts confirmed the make and model of the missiles using Google Map's Street View function.

The Egret of Regret

2010-10-10T02:11:00.001-04:00

Red sludge

Irony

2010-10-07T01:37:00.000-04:00

I found it.

The Egret of Regret

2010-10-03T00:15:00.000-04:00

Crotchety

2010-10-01T00:34:00.002-04:00

I'm just really proud of this sketch. Up was a good movie.

Common Sense

2010-09-30T01:48:00.000-04:00

Album Review: "Le Noise" by Neil Young

2010-09-29T01:21:00.007-04:00

Neil Young nearly succeeded in making one of the least accessible albums with his appropriately titled solo work. The album opens with heavy, distorted electric guitars. Just heavy, distorted electric guitars. For some reason Young that it was a good idea to perform songs solo without a band and on top of that play with dense electric tones that sound like they recorded through a direct input.

The effect is not very pleasant.

The first songs contain more distortion and generalities than you can (or want to) shake a stick at. In the first two tracks, Young manages to sing two songs without actually saying anything (anything of value, anyway). Not only are these songs bland lyrically, they aren't catchy musically. Luckily, the third track on the album manages to save the ship from sinking with a half-way interesting riff.

The electric fuzz suck-fest is broken up mercifully by "Love And War", the first listenable track on the album. Again, Mr. Young really doesn't say a lot here. His musings are summarized at the beginning of the song: "When I sing about love and war / I don't really know what I'm saying." The thoughtful guitar work on this song and the absence of electric guitars make this song passable.

The listener is dumped back into the heap of slogging leaden guitars with the album's first single, "Angry World". The lyric "It's an angry world / And no doubt everything will go as planned" is the only thing that keeps this song from being total bollocks.

After the autobiographical "Hitchhiker" comes "Peace Valley Boulevard", a sparse acoustic number about America's expansion and the consequences of industrial progress. This is easily the best song on the album in terms of lyrics. Thankfully, the album ends on a fairly strong foot. "Rumblin'" is easily the best of the electric numbers and actually expresses some potent sentiments. It's a shame it wasn't placed earlier on the album. A gem isn't always appreciated when you have to wade through a seemingly endless swamp of dreck to get to it.

Needless to say, I was not impressed with this album at all. Young performs an incredible feat, making an album of only 8 tracks that sounds desperately repetitive. The songwriting is widely uninspired and the production, in most cases, is grating and nearly unbearable. It seemed like Young wrote bland pop songs and then set about stripping away anything that was even remotely appealing.

I understand that Young might be going for a deconstructed rock sound but without the constructive framework of a rhythm section the songs just collapse on themselves, crushed under their own immense weight.

If you're a Neil Young fan, you'll probably want to get this album. If you're not, then I suggest you avoid this buzzing bumbler.

The Egret of Regret

2010-09-22T23:31:00.002-04:00

Offomatopoeia on Urban Dictionary

The Egret of Regret

2010-09-20T00:52:00.002-04:00

Movies: The Social Network

2010-09-16T20:56:00.004-04:00

This movie is the dramatic retelling of Facebook's origins and the lawsuits involved with its development. Now if that sounds really dry and boring, I assure you it's not. Screenwriter Aaron Sorkin manages to find the humor and emotion in a story that, on the surface, would appear to be a bore.

The story is augmented by all-around good acting by the cast. Proving that he isn't merely Michael Cera Mark II, Jesse Eisenberg is perfect as the brilliant, borderline-sociopathic Zuckerberg. Andrew Garfield also gives a stirring performance as Zuckerberg's beleaguered partner.

Possibly one of the best parts of this movie is the excellent soundtrack by Trent Reznor. The electronic, borderline industrial score acts perfectly as an emotional counterweigh and indicator of tension throughout.

See it when it comes out in theaters!

French Ban on Islamic Veils

2010-09-15T22:55:00.003-04:00

When I first heard about this issue a couple months ago it really grabbed my attention. I was surprised when I read today that the bill to ban burqas and niqabs passed in France's senate yesterday. Now the bill awaits President Sarkozy's signature, who stated in 2009 that the veils were "not welcome" in France.

Estimates report that a slim minority, only about 2,000 women, will be affected by this newest ban. While some have speculated that the ban is just another example of Western mistrust towards the Muslim community, the "burqa ban" is by no means an isolated incident.

This ban is just another step on France's path to complete secularization. Similar bans have also outlawed crucifixes, yarmulkes, and turbans. Despite outcry from religious groups the bans continue.

Since no religion is being favored over another and all religions are being equally restricted, this bill is anything but unfair. Of course, I don't agree with France restricting its citizens' rights but if France wants to be a secular nation, that's their prerogative.

However, the justification for this latest ban is that burqas and niqabs are oppressive to Muslim woman because their religion (and by extension the men involved with their religion) force them to wear those garments. While this may certainly be the case for traditional and fundamentalist practitioners, one shouldn't assume that none of the women are wearing burqas by their own volition.

So, when Sarkozy said the new law "is to protect women from being forced to cover their faces and to uphold France's secular values" he means the new law is to uphold France's secular values. There's no reason to adopt the guise of protecting women's rights because that's not what this ban is truly about.

To France's credit, however, the new law does attempt to address the issue of fundamentalist abuse towards women. Though there's a €150 fine for women who violate the law (including foreign tourists) but there's a penalty of a €30,000 fine and one year in jail for anyone who requires another person to wear a veil.

So, it's not all political posturing.

Creature Comforts

2010-09-13T18:57:00.000-04:00

The Fame Monster vs. The ArchAndroid

2010-09-13T01:58:00.005-04:00

First of all let me say that I don’t really like Lady Gaga. I know I’m going to be labeled as the pretentious curmudgeon who shakes his fist at all the punk young teenagers but that’s OK because it’s probably an accurate label.

The longstanding argument about Lady Gaga is (or has been) whether or not her whole act is merely style over substance. Well I think it’s pretty clear that she clearly is all style and very little substance. Of course her songs are catchy and she clearly has some talent as a songwriter but that’s about it. I’ve heard people try to defend her as a great songwriter but that’s simply bananas. She’s a decent songwriter, par for course.

I think we can all agree that Lady Gaga’s videos and performances are insane. In fact I believe that's what her fans love most about her. However, I have no love whatsoever for her style in any respect. She is gaudy, tacky, and hyper-sexualized in the worst ways possible, to the point where everything about her is just nauseating.

But of course, the more over-the-top she is, the more everyone loves her.

I think her shtick is stupid and shameless but apparently everyone thinks the opposite. It’s bold, it’s fresh, it’s daring! I have a couple friends who told me that Lady Gaga’s act is performance art and therefore all the insanity had a reason.

Performance art? Really?

Why can’t we just call it what it is? It’s shameless attention grabbing. Gaga’s “performance art” is merely justification for average pop music. Without all the crazy fashion and gimmicks, what do you have? The same old crap except with more dick ennui.

Lady Gaga is trying desperately to be our generation's Madonna: edgy, groundbreaking, sexual, shocking, and blond. So, by my analysis, for all of her supposed innovation and originality, she’s just another candy-coated shock-jock copycat that’ll make you fat and rot your teeth.

Now, Lady Gaga wouldn’t bother me so much if it weren't for the fact that her influence is a contagious, leprous cancer in pop music. Ever since Lady Gaga hit it big, it seems like every mainstream female pop artist has fallen under her cheap influence in some way. Rhianna, Beyoncé, Katy Perry, and the ever-trashy Ke$ha have all seen fit to replicate Lady Gaga’s craptastic aesthetic in one way or another.

Thankfully, there are still a few glimmers of hope and promise in pop music. The spark of brilliance that has most recently caught my eye is the talented, the dynamic, the incomparable Janelle Monáe.

Janelle Monáe is awesome. Her latest album, The ArchAndroid, is a visionary, genre-busting masterpiece. Monáe and her cohorts masterfully blend soulful R&B with elements from rock, psychedelic folk, and cinematically-inspired orchestrations. Like her debut effort, Metropolis: The Chase Suite, her new album is steeped in a sci-fi story following an android named Cindi Mayweather in her quest for freedom in a depraved future.

As a performer, Monáe is one of a kind. She has a tremendous voice and amazing dance skills, yet she’s a very modest, levelheaded person. Her act seems to be inspired equally by James Brown’s look and showmanship, and Michael Jackson’s dance skills. However, despite the obvious parallels she rises above mere imitation of her influences and really owns her style.

In order to be convinced of Monáe’s spirit and value as a performer one must only watch one of her videos. She is an absolute joy to watch on stage as she delivers energetic performances driven by her live band and her dancing.

In the video for her first single off Metropolis, “Many Moons”, we are introduced to the futuristic world her music takes place in. It takes place at an auction for androids in which Monáe’s protagonist Cindi Mayweather is the centerpiece. The video succeeds in delivering a captivating performance (I’ve seen a forward moonwalk done before) and a coherent story that isn’t merely pulp schmaltz built on cheap pop culture references.

Her next music video, “Tightrope”, once again treads the line of the weird, but is still incredibly fun to watch. The song itself is probably the catchiest thing I’ve heard all year and, as a bonus, the video features some of the finest dancing I’ve ever seen.

Her latest music video is for her anthemic second single, “Cold War”. The video for this song is easily the simplest I’ve seen but is easily one of the most powerful. Perhaps inspired by Radiohead’s video for “No Surprises” (or even the making-of that video as seen in Meeting People is Easy), the video is a close-up of Monáe lip-syncing to her own song. The power and beauty of her song, coupled with the emotion in her expressions, is made all the more powerful by the simplicity of the video and the subtle sexuality she exudes.

Janelle Monáe is truly an artist. She combines different styles to create something that is fresh and new. Only an artist as talented as her could make a high-concept, sci-fi story and make it cool and catchy. She has a classy and timeless style that is bold yet nonintrusive.

Basically, in my humble opinion, she’s better than Lady Gaga in every way and I wish more people would pay attention to artists like Monáe instead of paying attention to the narcissistic posturing of pop music’s elite few.

Now to compare Janelle Monáe to Lady Gaga may be pointless and degrading but I felt it had to be done. I feel that this world could use more artists with class, creative brilliance, and positive messages, and less artists that seem to celebrate sordid sexuality, abject materialism, rampant consumerism, and little else.

Pop culture’s excesses and shortcomings are indicative of modern society’s ails as a whole. I think we could be doing a lot more with a whole lot less instead of falling into hedonistic indulgence and cultural nihilism.

My hope is that maybe a few people will change their minds and maybe musicians will abandon the need for one-upsmanship when it comes to over-the-top superficial absurdity.

But then again I’m just an old dog, most likely barking up the wrong tree.

The Egret of Regret

2010-09-12T20:38:00.002-04:00

The Egret of Regret

2010-09-08T23:26:00.000-04:00

The Egret of Regret

2010-09-05T01:45:00.001-04:00

The Egret of Regret

2010-09-01T13:40:00.002-04:00

Slick Willie

2010-08-30T00:30:00.004-04:00

Allow me to be blunt...

This image is from an interview between former president Bill Clinton and Chris Wallace of Fox News where Chris Wallace gets totally owned for being a biased douche. I just happened to pause the video at this exact moment and I thought it looked really funny so I took a screenshot.

Good story. Don't do drugs?

The Egret of Regret

2010-08-29T01:32:00.002-04:00

The Egret of Regret

2010-08-25T15:58:00.003-04:00

The Egret of Regret

2010-08-24T19:43:00.002-04:00

This comic is the gripping conclusion to Wednesday's cartoon.

The Egret of Regret

2010-08-19T13:09:00.003-04:00

This is the alternate version of yesterday's comic.

The Egret of Regret

2010-08-18T01:52:00.003-04:00

Movies: Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

2010-08-15T02:13:00.004-04:00

When I walked into the theater to see this movie I had very low expectations. Based on the comic book/video game shtick I saw in the preview, I thought this was just going to be another Michael Cera biopic with an added edginess factor. I was pleasantly surprised (though I seriously think Cera is after his own awkward-boy genre).

This movie was extremely funny, funny in ways I didn't expect. It was really smart and really entertaining. The story mixed well fantasy elements so that the comic book elements and video game references weren't obtrusive.

The cast for this film was great and the music wasn't bad either. Original music was provided by Radiohead's "sixth member", producer Nigel Godrich (you can keep There Will Be Blood, Jonny Greenwood).

Overall, this movie was light and entertaining. It's strongest asset was the ability to poke fun at itself, which was very refreshing. I can say that this was a very good comic book movie, though I've never read the comic. (The book was better?)

Anyway, yes. Good stuff, good times, good news. Exceeded expectations. High score!

Relevant Songs:

Sex Bomb - Spinnerette

The Egret of Regret

2010-08-15T01:49:00.000-04:00

The Egret of Regret

2010-08-12T12:23:00.004-04:00

This is the alternate, much more succinct version of yesterday's cartoon.

The Egret of Regret

2010-08-11T02:36:00.000-04:00

The Audacity of Regret

2010-08-09T02:02:00.003-04:00

Hey everybody, good news! Everyone's favorite unhappy heron now has his own t-shirt and I must say it looks pretty spiffy!

The inspiring design featuring the ever-stoic, stationary soldier of sorrow, is based off Shepard Fairey's famous Barack Obama "Hope" poster. I'm just kidding. The color scheme is totally original.

You can purchase this shirt and others at my store by clicking on "My Shop" towards the top right side of the page or by clicking this link.

Do it! Click! Buy! Spend! Regret!

The Egret of Regret

2010-08-08T00:26:00.002-04:00

Sheep In a Sheep

2010-08-06T18:28:00.002-04:00

The Egret of Regret

2010-08-06T14:28:00.001-04:00

This is the alternate version of Wednesday's comic.

If you think about it, a dream about nothing is pretty crazy.

The Egret of Regret

2010-08-04T01:00:00.000-04:00

The Egret of Regret

2010-08-02T17:08:00.003-04:00

Today's comic is a bonus comic. A better one will be up on Wednesday

The Egret of Regret

2010-08-01T00:43:00.001-04:00

DonKing Kong

2010-07-30T01:01:00.005-04:00

Ever wonder what a hybrid of King Kong, Donkey Kong, and Don King would look like? Well rest easy, world, because I have found the answer:

You're welcome.

The Egret of Regret

2010-07-28T04:00:00.000-04:00

The Egret of Regret

2010-07-25T01:55:00.000-04:00

The Egret of Regret

2010-07-22T13:00:00.000-04:00

This is the alternate version to yesterday's comic.

The Egret of Regret

2010-07-21T03:07:00.000-04:00

Movies: Inception

2010-07-20T00:30:00.000-04:00

This movie was smart, suspenseful, and intensely creative. It also had a dynamite cast. This is my pick for best movie of the year. Go see it.

Spirit Animals

2010-07-19T14:50:00.000-04:00

The Egret of Regret

2010-07-18T13:00:00.000-04:00

The Egret of Regret

2010-07-14T13:00:00.000-04:00

The Wednesday/Sunday postings of The Egret of Regret have been so much fun this month. The dates have been 7/4/10, 7/7/10/, 7/11/10, 7/14/10. Lucky sevens! 7-11! Ah, numbers make me so happy in such simple and meaningless ways

The Egret of Regret

2010-07-11T12:00:00.000-04:00

Movies: Despicable Me

2010-07-10T02:44:00.000-04:00

I had hopes for this movie going into the theater. The concept? Good. The design? Great. The execution? Eh, so-so. This movie, by definition an animated kids movie, had trouble navigating the kid-friendly, adult-entertaining divide. Films by rivals Dreamworks and Pixar often have little trouble balancing the comedic with the dramatic, offering movies that appeal to children and adults simultaneously. Despicable Me, however, falls a bit short.

The story follows Gru (voiced perfectly by Steve Carrel), a supervillain looking to pull off the greatest crime of all time. His plans quickly go askew however, when he becomes the guardian of three orphan girls. Russian supervillain meets three feisty kids. Shenanigans ensue.

The film floats along buoyed by the charm and likeability of the three orphan girls; Margo, Edith, and Agnes. However, despite a couple of cutesy, warm & fuzzy moments, this film lacks a lot of real feeling.

Pacing and development are lacking in this movie, so that the dramatic moments and emotional turning points really lack the pathos to create a moving experience. It doesn't help that this isn't the funniest movie ever. The humor relies mostly on physical comedy, much of which was already seen in the film's numerous promo trailers. Gru's pint-sized, jibberish-speaking minions, when not on the receiving end of slapstick violence, tend to be slightly annoying.

However, there are a few good laughs and, overall, the viewer is left satisfied by the movie if not completely filled. The animation in this film is a definite treat for the eyes. Also, Steve Carell and Russel Brand prove themselves to be excellent voice actors. Throughout the entire movie I didn't even know which character was voiced by Brand.

The Egret of Regret

2010-07-07T13:00:00.000-04:00

Fighting Fire With Fire

2010-07-04T19:06:00.000-04:00

This comic was inspired by true story.

Happy Independence Day!

The Egret of Regret

2010-07-04T14:00:00.000-04:00

Album Review: "How I Got Over" by The Roots

2010-07-03T17:21:00.000-04:00

Despite their success in nighttime television, The Roots haven't lost their edge. They're still sharp, delivering a mature album that deals with despair and how it. If you felt, like me, that the first half of the album was hard to get through, it's because the album is divided into halves. The first half is steeped in melancholy and introspection whereas the second half is all about self-improvement and empowerment.

The album starts off slow with A Peace of Light, an instrumental featuring a capella vocals by members of The Dirty Projectors. Walk Alone follows next, saddled by a heavy, uninspired piano part and a chorus that sounds's like The River of Dreams by Billy Joel. Finally, the album gets a pulse with Dear God 2.0, which couples harps with tender vocals provided by the Monsters of Folk.

We don't get the familiar smooth Roots sound until Now or Never and How I Got Over, which together serve as the emotional tipping point on the album. Now or Never illustrates the decision to stand up and make a change in order to get your shit together. How I Got Over is easily the catchiest track on the album. Black Thought and Dice Raw both give strong singing performances as Black Thought raps about life in the streets and importance of lending a helping hand.

The rest of the album continues the upbeat trend set by the last two tracks. The Day is a sunny call to action and Right On combines a catchy drum break with Joanna Newsom's quirky vocal stylings. Black Thought proceeds to lay his cards out on the table with the help of John Legend on, Doin' It Again and The Fire, returning to his hard-hitting form, confidence restored.

Overall, How I Got Over is a streamlined, focus work. This album has a solid concept, taking a journey from the depths of despair to the heights of empowerment. While it may be hard to get into at first, multiple playthroughs should prove rewarding.

Check it out.

The Egret of Regret

2010-06-27T22:13:00.000-04:00

"I Saw the Sign, and it Opened up my Eye"

2010-06-26T03:19:00.000-04:00

Either this is a plumber's artistic rendering of how tear ducts work, or that eye is just way too big.

Got a giant eye that needs rinsing? Come down to our Giant Eye Rinse Station Outlet Store and purchase your very own Giant Eye Rinse Station. Our patented design sprays water under your eye, not in, at, or on your actual eye.

Warning: Do no use with regular sized-eyes.

Movies: Toy Story 3

2010-06-22T03:25:00.001-04:00

This movie was awesome. It was everything you could expect from a Toy Story movie and more. The perfect way to complete the trilogy. Go see it.

Unidentified Fishing Object

2010-06-21T02:07:00.000-04:00

Those aliens got some weak special effects if you ask me.

Natty Geo

2010-06-19T02:54:00.000-04:00

So the National Geographic Channel has started referring to itself as "Nat Geo." Really? Because "National Geographic" is really tough for an educated audience to comprehend and remember. Nat Geo? They must be aiming for the short-attention span having, Natty-Ice drinking, college bro crowd.

Melting Point

2010-06-16T04:42:00.000-04:00

This Webcomic is Free

2010-06-16T04:34:00.000-04:00

My blog is getting more hardcore by the second. Grayscale comics now featuring Blood Red!

I'm posting this comic today to give you a look into my creative process. First, I'll have a good idea. But, because I'm lazy or daunted by the task at hand, I'll come up with another idea that's really crappy. Then, instead of drawing the good idea well, I'll probably do the quick thing and draw the bad idea really poorly. Sometimes I'll bleed on the paper while I draw as you can see above. Also, realizing my extreme stupidity, I'll often mock and critique my own work, even before I finish. Finally, even though I don't like what I've done, I'll scan it into my computer (no matter how many times I try it will scan crooked for some damn, unknown reason) and put it up on the internet anyways.

And that's how the quality products that you find on Blogged Drainpipe come to being.

Whaddya expect for nothing?

Arbor Barber, Part 2

2010-06-14T01:18:00.003-04:00

Arbor Barber

2010-06-13T00:56:00.000-04:00

The B Word

2010-06-12T23:20:00.000-04:00

OK, this is just silly. Recently, the Los Angeles chapter of the NAACP has taken offense to a Hallmark card that, according to them, is racist. Now, when I first saw this article I was a little bit wary. I thought, "Alright, it seems unlikely that Hallmark (or anyone for that matter) would publish a blatantly racist and offensive greeting card (of all things), buy hey it's possible so I guess I'll suspend my disbelief." Well, it turns out it was pretty unbelievable.

According to NAACP, the card in question, a graduation card with a speaker that plays a dialogue between two cartoon rabbits, made reference, in its audio, to African American women as "black whores" with the warning that they better watch their backs.

This is ridiculous.

I listened to the audio of this card that was provided in the news video and I heard the following:

Stupid Cartoon #1: And you black holes, you're so ominous!

Stupid Cartoon #2: And you planets: watch your back.

Granted this is a stupid, poorly written card that no one should ever give to a self-respecting graduate, but it is definitely not racist.

Minnie Hatley of the Los Angeles NAACP asserts that she hears an "R" so that the card is saying "black whores" (which obviously doesn't make sense in context) instead of black holes. Never mind the fact that I clearly hear an "L" in there and not an "R", and never mind the fact that holes has a different vowel sound than whores, I want to know, if this card were actually racist, why Hallmark would ever allow a racial slur to slip in? Why this card? Why graduations? Why the solar system? Is this some cheap attempt at subliminal racist brainwashing?

The reason why I'm so concerned by this is not because I care about Hallmark and it's reputation. I don't think Hallmark is some poor victim being unjustly accused of racism. I don't really care. I'm more concerned with the image of the NAACP. Here I see them making fools of themselves by taking offense to and taking issue with something that I frankly don't think exists. I hear Leon Jenkins of the NAACP say, "That was very demeaning to African American women when they made reference to African American women as 'black whores' and at the end says, 'watch your back,'" and all I can think is, "This is stupid, this is stupid, there's nothing there, they're just talking about black holes."

This kind of pointless knee-jerk reaction to something so trivial as a greeting card results in nothing but a loss of credibility in my mind.

Music You Should Listen To: Jack Conte

2010-06-10T22:36:00.001-04:00

So this guy is pretty cool. He has gained quite a following on Youtube doing VideoSongs, music videos with two rules, according to Conte:

1. What you see is what you hear (no lip-syncing for instruments or voice).

2. If you hear it, at some point you see it (no hidden sounds).

He's got a lot of stuff up on Youtube and a lot of it is pretty sweet, going far beyond the novelty of the medium the medium it's presented in. He's a good songwriter, a great musician, and he works in a lot of different styles. He pretty much rocks hot socks. Here are links to some of my favorites on Youtube:

"Gulf" by Jack Conte

"Eat" by Jack Conte

"Bloody Nose" by Jack Conte

Check out more of his music in his music store at jackcontemusic.com

Adult Swim

2010-06-10T21:51:00.000-04:00

So, when I first saw this product on the store shelf, I had to ask myself, why did this creepy pedophile-looking guy need to be awkwardly Photoshopped into the picture?

Then, as I continued to peruse the store shelf, I was forced to ask myself, why was this creepy pedophile-looking guy Photoshopped into the rest of these pictures?

Seriously. Not only is his inclusion totally creepy and unnecessary, it's also completely uncreative and lazy. It makes no sense.

P.S. All these floaty toys look really cool but I read reviews for them and apparently they all suck.

Movies: Get Him to the Greek

2010-06-09T01:23:00.000-04:00

An overweight, awkward music label peon with relationship troubles gets paired with an over-the-top playboy/addict rock star and (whaddya know?) hilarity ensues. This movie was pretty funny if a little dumb at times. The best parts of the movie are reminiscent of all the shenanigans you never got to see in The Hangover. Jonah Hill is unimpressive as his usual self (now with a beard!) but Russell Brand is perfect as the out of control rock star. Sean Combs (apparently not starring as himself) steals the show as the scheming record exec.

Softer Than a Cloud

2010-06-07T02:45:00.001-04:00

This is How I Roll

2010-06-02T02:41:00.000-04:00

The guy on the far right was thinking about potatoes for the entirety of this comic.

5 Minute Paintings

2010-06-02T02:27:00.000-04:00

So I did this thing the other day where I started a stop watch and just started painting using only the primary colors. It's apparent I didn't have a plan other than that when I painted these, it was all freestyle improv. After 5 minutes of painting I would stop and put down my brushes, to see what I came up with.

I have the art skills of a fifth grader.

Bromanteau

2010-05-31T14:53:00.000-04:00

Hey I invented a new word:

bromanteau

A bromanteau is a portmanteau of "bro" and another word. Bromanteau is a bromanteau in itself, a portmanteau of "bro" and "portmanteau."

Other bromanteaus:

brohemian
Brosef Stalin
Joe Brogan
brodeo
brojo (dojo for bros)
bromance

You get the idea.

What's that? You want me to cite my sources? Screw you!

Good Idea

2010-05-27T23:16:00.001-04:00

Album Review: "Li(f)e" by Sage Francis

2010-05-27T02:59:00.000-04:00

A Healthy Distrust was probably Sage Francis' breakout record and, unfortunately Human the Death Dance was not much of step up for him. Fortunately, Sage gets something he really needed on his latest album: a live band.

Sage collaborated with a host of indie rockers and musicians, working with different musicians on each track, to create a record that sounds different from the rest of his work, with a largely country-rock influenced sound.

Li(f)e opens with Little Houdini, a true story about a man who escapes from jail several times to visit his family. This nonfiction narrative is a refreshing turn for Sage, taking a break from his usual lyricism that often draws criticism for its over-the-top profane imagery and lack of subtlety. The music, a building country-tinged rock beat, is by Grandaddy's Jason Lytle. The lyrics and music mesh perfectly to make arguably the best track on the album.

Three Sheets to the Wind is a straight-rocker conducted by Death Cab guitarist Chris Walla. I Was Zero sees Sage return to old lyrical form over a buoyant accompaniment.

The album's first single is Slow Man. Written long before the rest of this album, the lyrics for this song didn't have a home until it found a home with this tracks bluesy groove.

The album closes with it's second single, The Best of Times. Here, Sage Francis brings back his trademark confessional style, recounting his troubled youth over a beautiful arrangement by French composer Yann Tiersen, who's most known for composing the soundtrack to the motion picture "Amelie."

While this album has a view pitfalls, overall it is very good. The music definitely steals the show and is the landmark difference between this record and the rest of Sage Francis' catalog.

Click here to hear Sage Francis discuss Li(f)e

The M Games

2010-05-25T20:03:00.000-04:00

This comic was too extreme to stay inside the lines

Enter The Twins

2010-05-24T00:25:00.001-04:00

Stream of Thought Cartoons

2010-05-24T00:23:00.000-04:00

This Space for Rent

2010-05-24T00:22:00.000-04:00

there is so much fail in this drawing.

Stream of Thought Cartoons

2010-05-24T00:18:00.001-04:00

F---ing Robin, Part 2

2010-05-22T21:39:00.001-04:00

OK I woke up today and that freakin' bird was back at it, attacking the same glass door. All he does is poop on the patio and then flap into the sliding door. He doesn't even try other windows, it's just the same spot every time. I have no idea what he wants.

Here are some videos I took of this bird bein' stupid.

F---ing Robin

2010-05-21T23:22:00.001-04:00

That bird was so dumb, the perspective of this drawing is all wrong.

PSAcid

2010-05-21T23:16:00.000-04:00

Where did those buckets go?

Album Review: "Trans-Continental Hustle" by Gogol Bordello

2010-05-12T22:42:00.000-04:00

When you listen to Gogol Bordello's newest album you're probably going to pick up on some Latin roots mixed in with the usual gypsy punk madness, undoubtedly influenced by singer Eugene Hütz's relocation from New York to Rio. Hütz's pursuit of Afro-Latin beats has led to a personnel change in the band. Original drummer Eliot Ferguson (once called the only sane member in the band) has been replaced by a drummer by the name of Oliver Charles. Here's a a quote from Hütz on the band's newest addition:

"He comes from a dynasty of drummers from Trinidad, (which is) so essential for some of the new elements in our music. Oliver comes in with a full knowledge to break out the gypsy punk samba. It is out of this world."

Though I hate to see people leave bands (oh what will RHCP be without Frusciante?) as much as I hate to see good bands break up (Rage is never coming back) I can only hope that the split was made on good terms.

Anyway, back to the album. Trans-Continental Hustle opens strong with Pala Tute a song about a gypsy girl from Hütz's youth. The song, which has been a solid promotional favorite and was first heard on the DVD extras portion of Live From Axis Mundi, immediately gives the listener the basic gypsy goodness that can be expected from the band.

My Companjera continues along in the same vein. Musically, this song sounds a bit like a re-hash of My Strangle Uncles From Abroad, from 2007's Super Taranta. Sun Is On My Side adds some variation to Gogol Bordello, starting out as a somber and tender ballad.

The band brings back the fire with Rebellious Love and the album's first single and most punk-influenced effort, Immigraniada (We Comin' Rougher), before bringing it back down again. Hütz gets reflective on When Universes Collide, bringing the heavier fare of gang violence and war to the table. Despite serious musings, the band doesn't let it overcome then, instead rising triumphantly over the melancholy before finishing in a relaxed reprise.

The Latin sound starts coming out with Una Menina and Raise The Knowledge, which sports some mean violin licks and some electric organ (a rare addition for Gogol). The album ends strongly with Break The Spell and the title track. Break The Spell is perhaps the best rock number on the album, featuring exciting rhythms and riffs. The final track boasts samba rhythms and a chorus ripped from You Gave Up (Roumania), a song from the band's BBC Sessions featured on Live From Axis Mundi.

Overall, I'm extremely satisfied with this album. There's not a bad song on this album - all of the songs are extremely catchy and fun. The band, while employing a lot of the same tricks, is using some new influences to freshen up their sound (moving away from a lot of the dub sounds on Super Taranta!)

It's always a party with Gogol. Go get it.

The whole album can be streamed from their Myspace page here

For info on the band and their store go to their website here

News Update

2010-05-12T02:00:00.000-04:00

Sarah Palin Excited by Apparent Abundance of Oil

Nature to Man: "This is what you get when you mess with us"

News Update

2010-05-12T01:53:00.000-04:00

Oil Spill Accuses Environmentalists of Racism When They Ask it to Leave Ocean

Obama Invites Oil Spill to Beer Summit

In related news: Brown Pelicans, once endangered, now looking forward to being known as Black Pelicans after the oil spill reaches their habitats.

In unrelated news: Mountain man invites goat to Beer Summit