The Egret of Regret

"I Saw the Sign, and it Opened up my Eye"

Either this is a plumber's artistic rendering of how tear ducts work, or that eye is just way too big.

Got a giant eye that needs rinsing? Come down to our Giant Eye Rinse Station Outlet Store and purchase your very own Giant Eye Rinse Station. Our patented design sprays water under your eye, not in, at, or on your actual eye.

Warning: Do no use with regular sized-eyes.

Movies: Toy Story 3

This movie was awesome. It was everything you could expect from a Toy Story movie and more. The perfect way to complete the trilogy. Go see it.

Unidentified Fishing Object

Those aliens got some weak special effects if you ask me.

Natty Geo

So the National Geographic Channel has started referring to itself as "Nat Geo." Really? Because "National Geographic" is really tough for an educated audience to comprehend and remember. Nat Geo? They must be aiming for the short-attention span having, Natty-Ice drinking, college bro crowd.

Melting Point

This Webcomic is Free

My blog is getting more hardcore by the second. Grayscale comics now featuring Blood Red!

I'm posting this comic today to give you a look into my creative process. First, I'll have a good idea. But, because I'm lazy or daunted by the task at hand, I'll come up with another idea that's really crappy. Then, instead of drawing the good idea well, I'll probably do the quick thing and draw the bad idea really poorly. Sometimes I'll bleed on the paper while I draw as you can see above. Also, realizing my extreme stupidity, I'll often mock and critique my own work, even before I finish. Finally, even though I don't like what I've done, I'll scan it into my computer (no matter how many times I try it will scan crooked for some damn, unknown reason) and put it up on the internet anyways.

And that's how the quality products that you find on Blogged Drainpipe come to being.

Whaddya expect for nothing?

Arbor Barber, Part 2

Arbor Barber

The B Word

OK, this is just silly. Recently, the Los Angeles chapter of the NAACP has taken offense to a Hallmark card that, according to them, is racist. Now, when I first saw this article I was a little bit wary. I thought, "Alright, it seems unlikely that Hallmark (or anyone for that matter) would publish a blatantly racist and offensive greeting card (of all things), buy hey it's possible so I guess I'll suspend my disbelief." Well, it turns out it was pretty unbelievable.

According to NAACP, the card in question, a graduation card with a speaker that plays a dialogue between two cartoon rabbits, made reference, in its audio, to African American women as "black whores" with the warning that they better watch their backs.

This is ridiculous.

I listened to the audio of this card that was provided in the news video and I heard the following:

Stupid Cartoon #1: And you black holes, you're so ominous!

Stupid Cartoon #2: And you planets: watch your back.

Granted this is a stupid, poorly written card that no one should ever give to a self-respecting graduate, but it is definitely not racist.

Minnie Hatley of the Los Angeles NAACP asserts that she hears an "R" so that the card is saying "black whores" (which obviously doesn't make sense in context) instead of black holes. Never mind the fact that I clearly hear an "L" in there and not an "R", and never mind the fact that holes has a different vowel sound than whores, I want to know, if this card were actually racist, why Hallmark would ever allow a racial slur to slip in? Why this card? Why graduations? Why the solar system? Is this some cheap attempt at subliminal racist brainwashing?

The reason why I'm so concerned by this is not because I care about Hallmark and it's reputation. I don't think Hallmark is some poor victim being unjustly accused of racism. I don't really care. I'm more concerned with the image of the NAACP. Here I see them making fools of themselves by taking offense to and taking issue with something that I frankly don't think exists. I hear Leon Jenkins of the NAACP say, "That was very demeaning to African American women when they made reference to African American women as 'black whores' and at the end says, 'watch your back,'" and all I can think is, "This is stupid, this is stupid, there's nothing there, they're just talking about black holes."

This kind of pointless knee-jerk reaction to something so trivial as a greeting card results in nothing but a loss of credibility in my mind.

Music You Should Listen To: Jack Conte

So this guy is pretty cool. He has gained quite a following on Youtube doing VideoSongs, music videos with two rules, according to Conte:

1. What you see is what you hear (no lip-syncing for instruments or voice).

2. If you hear it, at some point you see it (no hidden sounds).

He's got a lot of stuff up on Youtube and a lot of it is pretty sweet, going far beyond the novelty of the medium the medium it's presented in. He's a good songwriter, a great musician, and he works in a lot of different styles. He pretty much rocks hot socks. Here are links to some of my favorites on Youtube:

"Gulf" by Jack Conte

"Eat" by Jack Conte

"Bloody Nose" by Jack Conte

Check out more of his music in his music store at jackcontemusic.com

Adult Swim

So, when I first saw this product on the store shelf, I had to ask myself, why did this creepy pedophile-looking guy need to be awkwardly Photoshopped into the picture?

Then, as I continued to peruse the store shelf, I was forced to ask myself, why was this creepy pedophile-looking guy Photoshopped into the rest of these pictures?

Seriously. Not only is his inclusion totally creepy and unnecessary, it's also completely uncreative and lazy. It makes no sense.

P.S. All these floaty toys look really cool but I read reviews for them and apparently they all suck.

Movies: Get Him to the Greek

An overweight, awkward music label peon with relationship troubles gets paired with an over-the-top playboy/addict rock star and (whaddya know?) hilarity ensues. This movie was pretty funny if a little dumb at times. The best parts of the movie are reminiscent of all the shenanigans you never got to see in The Hangover. Jonah Hill is unimpressive as his usual self (now with a beard!) but Russell Brand is perfect as the out of control rock star. Sean Combs (apparently not starring as himself) steals the show as the scheming record exec.

Softer Than a Cloud

This is How I Roll

The guy on the far right was thinking about potatoes for the entirety of this comic.

5 Minute Paintings

So I did this thing the other day where I started a stop watch and just started painting using only the primary colors. It's apparent I didn't have a plan other than that when I painted these, it was all freestyle improv. After 5 minutes of painting I would stop and put down my brushes, to see what I came up with.

I have the art skills of a fifth grader.